My Speech & Prayer At The Horse Barn Wedding

My oldest son got married last July. That’s him and his wife above. My son is named after me, but we call him Chaz. His wife’s name is Kimmy. The wedding and reception were at a horse stable that has been converted into an event center. It was a real nice place.

Have you noticed that a lot less people are getting married in churches these days? What’s with that? None of my three sons were married in a church. I’m just thankful they were married by clergymen.

Marriage is a serious thing. And I’m a serious person. Fact is I’ve gotten a lot more serious with age. It’s not a bad thing. In the book of Titus in the New Testament, the Apostle Paul says that “the aged men” should “be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.” Which is to say, when you hit the heavenstretch you need to be serious.

So, when Chaz and Kimmy asked me if I would say the prayer at their reception, I took it seriously. I really didn’t want to stand up in front of a bunch of mostly-strangers and say a prayer, but one doesn’t get this kind of opportunity very often. And the opportunity to say a prayer meant the opportunity to give a little bit of a speech before the prayer. No one said I could or should do that. I just did it.

Kimmy’s dad gave a speech and it was a fine speech, with lots of humor, and it ended on a serious note (I like her dad a lot). My youngest son, James, as best man, gave a speech. It was also a fine speech, with lots of humor. Here’s a picture of James giving his speech…

My three sons, from the left, Robert, James and Chaz.

As for my speech (and prayer) it was all serious. No humor at all. And even though the audience was mostly secular, my sentiments were decidedly Christian. In the end, I just gotta be me. 🙂

Microphone in hand, all serious, and my son’s friend, Ian, appears to be listening seriously.

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The Speech

“Chaz & Kimmy have asked me to say a prayer at this time, and I’m going to do that, but I’m going to take this opportunity to first impart some fatherly counsel in the form of a short commentary about life and marriage, beginning with four observations, which I like to refer to as “The Other Facts Of Life”…

1. Life is hard, and the older we get, the harder life gets.
2. Life is often not fair. At least from our human perspective it is not fair.
3. Life is short. The Bible tells us that our life here on earth is like a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. 
4. We live in a very troubled, stressful world.

These are four realities of life that we all face. And there is nothing much that any of us can do to change these realities.

And there is a saying…”That which we can not change, we must endure.”

BUT… And this is the good news… the slings and arrows of life are a whole lot easier to endure when we are married, AND when we have a proper marriage. Which is to say, a marriage as God intended it to be.

That is, the union of a man and a woman who covenant together as partners and teammates. Two people who, before God and man, commit to the well being of the family they create, and to helping each other with the hardships of life.. all the way to the end.

Now, unfortunately, as we all know, it doesn’t always work out that way for a lot of marriages. But it does for some, and marriages as God intended them to be are a powerfully endearing thing to see. There is a lot to be said for lifelong commitment.

But, make no mistake about it, a truly successful marriage does not happen naturally. It happens only with shared foresight, determination, and wisdom.  

In the final analysis, the ideal of marriage as God intended it to be, is not necessarily easy. But if an ideal (Of ANY Good Kind) resonates with you, the difficulty of attaining it is no excuse for not pursuing it.

So it is, Chaz and Kimmy, that I am pleased to see you pursuing this good and worthy ideal of marriage!

Now, I’m going to pray for God’s blessings upon you, and upon this celebration.”

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The Prayer

“Lord God Almighty… You are the source of all, and you are soveriegn over all. You created and ordained this human institution of marriage. You intended marriage to be something positive and beautiful. And in your Word you have given us the wisdom we all need to achieve a marriage that not only perseveres and endures, but a marriage that brings joy and blessings. I thank you for that.

And I thank you for bringing Chaz and Kimmy together. I thank you for the commitment they have publicly made to each other here today. I ask now that your grace, and your mercy would flow into this mariage union.  I ask that you would give Chaz and Kimmy a long-term vision for the marriage adventure that lies before them. I pray that a spirit of wisdom would permeate this marriage. Not worldly wisdom that is ever-changing, and so often leads us astray, but the transcendent, never-changing wisdom that comes from you.

Lord, I lift this marriage up to you and ask that you would help Chaz and Kimmy to see, and understand, and always remember, that they are, like all of us, naturally inclined to selfishness, impatience, and so many other human character flaws that so often conspire to weaken a marriage. I pray that, in realizing this, Chaz and Kimmy would strive to always be kind, and respectful, and forgiving of each other…. Always forgiving.

I pray, Lord, that Chaz and Kimmy’s home would be a haven of peace (not discord). A haven of mutual kindness, and mutual gentleness, and mutual empathy, and mutual respect, and mutual forgiveness (always forgiveness). A haven of all that is true and truly worthy in the midst of this troubled and stressful world we live in. 

In short, I pray, Lord, that the home and the marriage that Chaz and Kimmy pursue and create together will be a place of love; of intentional, ever-vigilant, tenacious love. And that this love will be a tremendous blessing not only to Chaz and Kimmy, but to their children, to their grandchildren (unto the generations that follow), to their parents, and to all who know them. 

And finally, I ask, Lord, that you would bless this food that we’re eating here today, and the time we have here together. I pray that everyone will be safe, and that good memories will be made.

I pray this all now, Lord God Almighty, with hope, and faith, believing that you are the only wise God, and that you hear and answer the prayers of all who humble themselves before you and call on your name, as I am now doing. 

And I pray this all now in the name of your beloved son, Jesus Christ. Amen.”

Chaz & Kimmy were married by a Methodist minister. A very nice fellow (and serious).

This is me with my little sister at the wedding. She has Multiple Sclerosis.

My son Robert in the middle, with his brother-in-law, Tristan in the checked shirt. My grandson, Futureman, is in the white shirt. He is Chaz’s son from a previous marriage.

Marlene and me on the dance floor. I wish the photo was not so blurry.